Monday, July 06, 2009

MLB All-Stars

The All Star game sucks. In every league. Those are facts. Also a fact, baseballs sucks the least. The every team gets an all star worked 60 years ago when there were ten teams in either league and only white guys played, now there are 14/16 and everyone is allowed to play. It's stupid. The Dascenzo All Stars. No A-Roids, no Eye Papi, no Manny.


Catcher - Joe Mauer, Victor Martinez. The AL only has two catchers that are any good this year, unless you play fantasy then you are wondering why B. Inge isn't on this team.

First Base - Justin Morneau, Kevin Youkilis, Miguel Cabrera. Teixera misses out because of his April.

Seond Base - Aaron Hill, Ian Kinsler. Brian Roberts is all steals and no substance.

Third Base - Evan Longoria, Brandon Inge, Michael Young. Inge and Young add depth at multiple positions.

Short Stop - Bartlett, Jeter. That's it, that's the list.

Outfield - Curtis "Muhfuggin" Granderson, Jason "Sittin on the dock of the" Bay, Torrii "Catfish" Hunter, Adam Lind "ing tower of piza", Nick "Don't call me Mark" Markakis, Carl "Stole this name" Crawford.

Utility - Ben Zobrist.

Starters - Doc Halladay, Edwin Jackson, Justin Verlander, Josh Beckett, Zach Grienke, Felix Hernandez, Kevin Millwood, Mark Buerhle. Sorry, Wakefield your ERA is terrible.

Relievers - Mariano Rivera, Andrew Bailey, Joe Nathan, Brian Fuentes.




Catcher - Brian McCann, Bengie Molina. McCann is the only deserving one.

First Base - Albert Pujols, Adrian Gonzalez, Joey Votto. Sorry Prince no meat means no power.

Second Base - Chase Utley, Freddy Sanchez. Brandon Phillips and Dan Uggla are all power no average.

Third Base - David Wright, Ryan Zimmerman, Pablo Sandoval, Mark Reynolds. Too much talent at 3B.

Short Stop - Hanley Ramirez, Miguel Tejada. The talent level in the NL is awful at multiple positions.

Outfield - Raul Ibanez, Brad Hawpe, Ryan Braun, Adam Dunn, Andre Ethier, Michael Bourne, Justin Upton.

Starters - Dan Haren, Tim Lincecum, Chad Billingsley, Javier Vazquez, Johan Santana, Adam Wainwright, Matt Cain, Yovani Gallardo.

Relievers - Heath Bell, Francisco Rodriguez, Ryan Franklin, Jonathon Broxton.


Hanley Ramirez
Raul Ibanez
Albert Pujols
Ryan Braun
Chase Utley
David Wright
Brian McCann
Brad Hawpe
Tim Lincecum